Jims Crap Dinner involving Pollock

By Jim Champion

This is a quick little dinner - very amusing to make only because pollock rhymes with bollock.


200 g Basmati Rice
Flora margarine
Freshly Ground Black Pepper (all good recipies have this)
2 Fillets Frozen Pollock (like the ones you get in safeways)
1 Large onion, chopped finely
Lemon Juice, freshly squeezed or otherwise
Soy Sauce
Vegetable oil for frying
Worcestershire Sauce


  1. Spread Flora on pollock and season like mental with the pepper. Add lashings of worcestershire sauce. Grill on a fairly high heat. Don't forget to turn them over half way through.
  2. Boil up some water in a pan - put the rice in and cook.
  3. Fry the onion until it is beautiful. Hopefully by this point the pollock will be cooked and plop this in too. Give it a good stir. Throw in some more pepper and Worcestershire sauce. Lemon too if you feel like it.
  4. Drain the rice in a sieve - if you want it clean better pour some boiling water over it. Put it on a plate and add some lemon juice. Plonk the onion/pollock gubbins on top and drizzle on some soy sauce.
  5. Eat very quickly, wonder what is for pudding and then realise - nothing.